Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
