Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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