So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
