She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize