I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
