He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
