I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
