You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
