i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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