I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
