lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
