Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
