he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
