yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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