There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
