He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
