i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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