How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
