Fuck appropriateness.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
