I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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