And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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