Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
