were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
