absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
