Christians are straight up FREAKS
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
