So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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