So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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