remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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