Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize