It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
