You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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