is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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