did you get engaged???
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
