This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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