READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
