It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
