Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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