After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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