how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
