so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
