oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
where are you?
Hypothermia
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
