Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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