trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
