Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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