I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have aggressive nipples.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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