Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
