I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have already put on my inside pants.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
