I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
