Dual....:-)
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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