its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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