Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
