I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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