five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my shit smells like andre
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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