you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
