Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
