she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
