the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
