He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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