i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
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