She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize