I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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